We left Chiang Mai just after 8:30AM on a bus bound for the Chiang Khong–Huay Xai border crossing. The crossing is about 200 miles northeast of Chiang Mai, and should take around 5 hours to reach by land. The goal was to get thru to Laos before the crossing closed at 6PM, and I wanted to allow for plenty of delays, which are apparently to be expected when traveling by bus through Northern Thailand. We bought tickets for an 8AM departure, but the clerk told us that we should probably just arrive at the station at 8 because the bus never leaves on time.

The trip started out pretty lush and green and hilly. We went through a couple of national parks and a lot of farmland. The overhead entertainment screened Oblivion but it was dubbed over in Thai, so I mostly just slept and let my imagination run wild across the surrounding countryside, which at one time in the not-so-distant past was the world’s primary source of heroin (more on this later). An ALLEGED US opium processing plant was ALLEGEDLY based at our destination (Huay Xai) during the Secret War… but have no fear, I’ve been assured that these days the only things moving through the area are tourists on their way into Laos.

Once we got to Chiang Khong we had to hire a tuk-tuk to take us to the border crossing. It was rather amusing to see an entire busload of people alight just to be immediately swarmed by tuk-tuk drivers. People rushed to grab their bags from beneath bus and raced to the nearest tuk-tuk – no one wanted to be the last in line at the border. (The same thing happens when you deplane into immigration at the airport, people attempt to casually speed walk past each other to avoid long lines at passport processing.) The proceeding 15-minute ride to the border was a passive-aggressive parade of tuk-tuks hauling tourists ready to rocket themselves out of the tuk-tuks and onto the passport processing windows at the first sign of slowing.

The building at the border crossing was comically empty – we had all rushed for nothing. There was a man lounging on a bench, smoking with his friend that jumped up and ran over to an unmarked folding table upon our arrival. We went over to him after getting our exit forms processed (seemed like the natural progression) and he tried to charge us a RIDICULOUS rate to change our Thai baht to US dollars, because “a Laotian Visa On Arrival is only available for purchase in USD.” He did a great job of making it seem like this exchange was compulsory, and the immigration officials nearby did nothing to dissuade us. We decided to roll the dice with that one and continued on past him.

At the VOA counter the clerk clarified that you could actually purchase a VOA with baht, BUT it was cheaper to pay in USD. We ended up changing money with her at a better rate and purchasing the VOAs with USD. Backwards as hell, c’est la vie. We were then told to wait for a bus that would take us across the Thai-Lao Friendship Bridge #4, and drop us just outside Huay Xai.

The bus took so long to arrive that we were eventually joined by the entirety of our comrades from the previous bus, and then some. We made friends with an Indonesian gal, Indira, and her French husband, Kenny. Once outside Huay Xai we shared a tuk-tuk with them into town, and teamed up to pick out a niceish hotel and place to eat. After a long day of traveling, it was really nice to decompress with such a friendly and funny couple. I wished we had more time with them, but alas, we had to catch the 2-day slow boat down the Mekong the next morning. ONWARD HO!